


pining to bring you home

by ivelostmyspectacles



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, Awkward Romance, Developing Relationship, Domestic Bliss, Holding Hands, M/M, Not Beta Read, PeterMartin Week (The Magnus Archives)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:20:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27558253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivelostmyspectacles/pseuds/ivelostmyspectacles
Summary: ... and Peter’s so close that his thigh brushes Martin’s as they sit and wait, and Martin… he’s going to hold his hand. He can’t stop himself.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Peter Lukas
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	pining to bring you home

Peter isn’t a tactile person. 

Martin gets it, he really does. Lonely, lack of wanting to associate with people, let alone getting close, but they… they were a bit more than… _colleagues?_ They were… Martin wouldn’t say if he knew if they were _proper_ dating, but they’re… something. There’s kinship. And Martin… Martin _likes_ being around him. Likes spending time with him. He has for some time. And yeah, he doesn’t know if it’s the kinship of their shared patron or– or just the fact that he’d been so _lonely_ to begin with himself, but… but it isn’t like that anymore. It’s… feelings. God, is it ever.

And Peter knows. Martin isn’t… he can’t afford to _not_ be forthcoming about feelings, not anymore. He can’t do another _Jon,_ he just can’t. The pain of loving someone who would never love you back– ah, no. He’s got enough on his mind. So, he’d… told Peter. His thoughts, and maybe intentions. And shock of all shocks, Peter had been… sweet about it, actually. They’d had a long discussion about the effects of The Lonely on relationships and intimacy, expectations and realities. There had been parts where Peter had looked uncomfortable. There had been parts where he had looked pleased. (And embarrassed, sometimes, that faint blush against his pale cheeks so weirdly _adorable,_ coming from Peter Lukas– agh, focus!)

So. Yeah. Martin can’t tell you if they’re dating. But they’re not the same, and it’s not for the worse.

And he really, really wants to hold Peter’s hand.

Peter isn’t a tactile person, and Martin knows. He will go out of his way to avoid people in the moment where he’s _had_ to be around them; even with Martin, he stays a respectable distance away. Until he doesn’t, until those moments where Peter leans over his shoulder to read the computer or steps a bit too close in interest over whatever nautical topic he gets into now and then. And Martin _drinks_ those moments in, God; the presence and warmth of Peter’s body behind him, and the smell of his skin, like salt water and fog, like late nights or early mornings full of dew and fresh, crisp air.

Martin, of course, respects Peter’s unspoken boundaries. But they’re literally in the middle of _nowhere,_ arse end of the universe, probably, he doesn’t know what part of The Lonely Peter’s taken him to, and they’re… waiting. Going to meet an old friend, evidently, traveling through the beauty of this otherworldly realm, and Peter’s so close that his thigh brushes Martin’s as they sit and wait, and Martin… he’s going to hold his hand. He can’t stop himself. He wants to try.

So he does. He rests his hands on his knees, at first, because that’s normal. It’s movement, casual, within the realm of his own body. Peter doesn’t react, but Martin knows he’s aware. They can feel every movement, in this realm. But then Martin shifts his hand, a little, further to the outside of his thigh, just about to where it touches Peter. He hesitates, then, tapping his finger against his jeans until he gathers up his final nerves.

Then he reaches over the scant space between them, touching two fingers to Peter’s hand.

Peter does jump, a little, even though all Martin’s managed to do is brush his fingers along one of Peter’s. It isn’t even his _hand,_ because he misjudged in his nerves, and he’s just now brushing the pads of his fingers against one of Peter’s knuckles, but… but Peter doesn’t _move._ He’s looking, now, looking at their hands. And there’s static, a little, but that isn’t unheard of, or even uncommon. 

It doesn’t rise, so Martin dares to curl his fingers around, just a little. “Is this… okay…?”

Peter looks… confused, perhaps, a little wondrous. Not uncomfortable, though. Not that. Martin knows romance is a foreign thing to him, knows _companionship_ goes against the very fabric of their nature, and Peter’s been serving it for a lot, _lot_ longer. He doesn’t even know what’s gone on in his past to get him here, but he knows _holding hands_ isn’t… well, it might just go against all of Peter’s better judgment. But Martin wouldn’t do it if he didn’t trust Peter to tell him if he was uncomfortable. And, maybe Peter didn’t like to talk, but the static in his head always managed to tell the truth even if Peter couldn’t say it out loud.

But Peter is quiet. The hum of The Lonely is there, but quiet, too. It’s… encouraging.

Peter’s fingers twitch, resting atop the back of Martin’s hand.

It’s… it’s… they’re not even properly _holding hands,_ just sort of… holding onto each other’s _fingers,_ and it’s sad and pathetic and so goddamn good that Martin just wants to– he thinks he’s welling up a bit, and he’s absolutely _not_ going to do that here, now, no. He dares– again– to thread their fingers together a bit more, and not only does Peter let him, he responds in kind. Peter copies him, slotting his hand properly into Martin’s this time.

Still no noticeable discomfort. Martin still has to ask, again, “this is okay?” He’s a little breathless, and might have hated himself for it once. But not now. Not now.

“This is okay,” Peter agrees sincerely, and holds his hand as they turn back to the sea.

_“… soul searches all of your hiding places, pining to bring you home”_ – Angie Weiland-Crosby

**Author's Note:**

> this accidentally fits the 'navigation' prompt for petermartin week, I guess x'D I've been planning gentle aroace PM for a long while and don't really have the energy for it right now, but was aching for some gentle hand holding, so consider this the uhhhh prequel to the fic that will be written eventually xD
> 
> love two awkward lonely people with some feelings...


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